Watch the TED Talk By My Coaching Client, Hakki Akdeniz

Jul 272022
 

Recently I had the privilege of coaching Hakki Akdeniz for his TED talk in which he tells the inspiring story of his journey as a 21 year old penniless, homeless, Turkish immigrant in NYC to successful entrepreneur, philanthropist and advocate for the homeless. Twenty years ago Hakki came to the United States speaking no English, $240 in his pocket and the promise of a job that never materialized. With courage and indominable drive, he has achieved the immigrant dream yet embraces the principle of “giving back.”

Click here to watch Hakki’s TED talk:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7GEMjXjxqc

Write a Standout Common Application Essay This Summer

May 312022
 

Why write my essay now?  It’s summer!

What rising high school senior hasn’t asked this question at the end of the highly pressured junior year?  Completing high level courses, perhaps AP or honors, taking ACT or SAT tests, visiting colleges… add in a sport or school play, community service:  this has been a busy year.

Can’t I take a break?

Of course, a breather is important and should be part of a college-bound student’s summer.  Spending some time with friends and enjoying a break from schoolwork are necessary to recharge a student’s batteries.

But targeting the brainstorming, organization and writing of the Comm App essay and the supplemental essays should be part of a rising senior’s summer activities, — even if it’s done under a beach umbrella with a cold soda.

As I mentioned in two previous articles (see below) the essay on the Common Application can make a critical difference in a student being admitted to college:  college admissions officers do read these essays.  This is an opportunity to stand out and become a singular individual, much more than grades, standardized test scores and extracurricular activities.  A student who reveals his/her thoughts, beliefs or personal history in an essay becomes more than the numbers on a transcript.

Crafting a personal essay in a thoughtful, creative way takes time:  time for reflection, brainstorming, writing and careful editing.  Trying to cram the Comm App essay and the supplemental essays into the fall of senior year will likely add pressure to a generally hectic time.

The age-old adage “the early bird gets the worm” really applies in this situation.  Completing the major essay and supplements during the summer frees up the fall for college visits, early admissions or rolling admissions — and can make the critical difference for a student finding a place in a college of his/her choice.

Write the essays this summer and increase your odds — maybe even win the jackpot!

Do College Admissions Officers Really Read the Common Application Essay?

Finding the “Authentic” Voice in a College Admissions Essay

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Check back soon for new articles on writing, speech coaching, executive function skills and speech pathology.

How to Make a Great Presentation on Zoom

Mar 262021
 

  • How important are presentation skills if I’m working on a remote platform like Zoom?

  • Other participants don’t expect a polished presentation on Zoom — or do they?

  • Can’t I just read my script on Zoom as if I were presenting in person?

Some of the concerns my clients have raised over the years have changed somewhat now that they’re using Zoom, but not as much as you might expect. For some individuals the discomfort — let’s be honest, the fear of public speaking — has lessened since they don’t have to present in front of a group gathered in a room. But for others, the computer screen has proven just as intimidating. In fact, the idea of many more attendees on a remote platform has become an even greater worry for some speakers.

Have the best practices for public speaking changed now that we are not physically present for presentations? Not at all. If anything, the stakes have been raised. The need to speak clearly, at a rate that allows for others to absorb the speaker’s message — simply translated, to speak slowly— using rhythm and melody for a natural voice and maintain eye contact are still critical elements for a great presentation.

How do you maintain eye contact if you’re looking into a computer screen? Quite simply by keeping your eyes focused on the computer’s camera: not off to the side or down at your notes. You still want to maintain “dialogue” even if you can’t see people in person — or you’re seeing little squares on the computer screen. In fact, there’s even more competition for your audience’s attention when they’re on Zoom —  dogs barking, children wandering into the room, phones ringing — all the distractions that wouldn’t exist in a conference room. So you have to be a polished speaker to keep their attention and deliver your message.

What about speaking from notes or reading a script? The same principles work: if you prefer speaking spontaneously — which doesn’t mean you make a presentation “without rehearsing” — you can certainly use your notes and look down or off to the side briefly to cue yourself. If a prepared text works better for you, it’s even more important on Zoom that you don’t keep your eyes glued to the paper.

My recommendation about reading from text is to minimize Zoom, center it at the top of your computer screen and open your document so your eyes are always facing forward. You can also download a teleprompter app and set the speed for a comfortable rate so you can read from the text. But this all takes practice. Finally, if you prefer to read from printed text, look up frequently and speak to your audience — just as you would if you were standing in front of them — or sitting at a conference table.

You’ll find many more helpful tips in past articles I’ve written: Capture Your Audience By Creating a Dialogue, The Two “P’s” for Effective Speaking, Capturing the Authentic Voice, and many others you can find on my Blog under the “Public Speaking” category.

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Check back soon for more articles on public speaking, communication, writing, speech pathology and  executive function skills.

What Does “Listening” Really Mean?

Jun 092020
 

We listen all the time: to the radio, television podcasts, especially to family and friends.

Isn’t listening the same for all these activities?

Listening to family, friends and business acquaintances is a very different process than listening to media sources. When we interact with others we establish a dialogue that is critical to a shared relationship. To make that interaction meaningful, we have to listen with more than our ears.

In a recent New York Times article, Pamela Soileau, a hospice nurse and chaplain is quoted as saying, “Words are important, but they are not everything. Sometimes it’s just your presence and your willingness to listen that speaks volumes.” 

You can read a past article on this website I wrote about listening with your eyes: how to connect with someone else besides using words. What You Mean Is In Your Eyes, Not Only In Your Words. The act of listening involves making an emotional contact with someone else, from the basic to the profound. We don’t always respond with words — sometimes words are not appropriate — but we need to interact so that a meaningful dialogue takes place.

Many times we’re unsure how to respond the “right” way to a friend or colleague who expresses a loss or bad news. What words do we use? Is there another way to convey our feelings? Yes, we can nod, sigh or show understanding through our eyes. During the pandemic, this face-to-face dialogue may have to depend on Zoom or another online platform.  If we can’t see each other, there are phone calls, a time-tested form of communication, where the most basic of words, ” yes, uh huh, I understand”  or an exhalation can fill the need for listening and responding.

The key to “listening well” is inviting someone to share their thoughts and giving them time to express themselves. It means making sure they know you are present, even if you have never experienced their situation. When you fully engage in listening, it’s likely the other person will be there for you at another time when you need an open ear.

Dialogue is listening and responding, giving and receiving.

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Words, Words, Words…

Mar 272020
 

In these difficult times we can still use words to keep us together without touching

 

Words separate human beings from every other species. It’s a gift from nature we can use in these difficult times to gather and share information, comfort, reassure one another, and continue the social interactions so necessary for the mind and soul.

Reach out to your family members, friends, neighbors, congregants with calls, emails, online video chats and even letters — to their credit, postal workers and mail carriers are still working to keep our country running.

Let’s use our words to keep us strong and nourish each person’s spirit.

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Check back soon for more articles on communication, speech pathology, writing and execution function skills.

Slaying the Dragon of Stage Fright

Jan 132020
 

If you’ve ever felt you were the only one fearful about making a presentation, be assured, you’re not alone.  In fact, you have most of the world agonizing with you.  

For many people deciding what to say, how to say it, then standing up in front of others is like confronting a fire-eating dragon.

  • The fear of speaking in public, “glossophobia” affects at least 75% of the population.

  • A 2012 research study showed that participants feared “speaking before a group” more than “death.”

In an earlier article I wrote about stage fright or “performance anxiety” among famous individuals.  Can Stage Fright Be Good For You?

The great ballet dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov and Ella Fitzgerald suffered from stage fright but forced themselves to go on with the show.  Sometimes notable performers find other ways to continue their careers: the actor Daniel Day Lewis left the stage during the middle of a performance and never returned. He dealt with his stage fright by continuing his acting career solely in the movies.  A fairly extreme solution for a famous actor!

  • Some performers prefer to call it shyness, not stage fright.

Carly Simon took off six years from live performance.  But when asked about her decision, she declined to call it stage fright and defined it as “shyness.”  Being center stage, exposed to criticism, may be the underlying reason for what we refer to stage fright.

  • So how can this be overcome by the average person who doesn’t necessarily have to perform in front of a large audience?

Changing one’s thinking about public speaking as “exposure” is a starting point.  Giving a presentation, report or making a toast is not a performance.  If you have prepared sufficiently and most importantly have rehearsed — out loud — in front of a coach or trusted friend/colleague, it’s not a performance. You’re presenting your research or experience to individuals who probably want to hear what you say.  

The best way to slay the dragon of stage fright is to focus on your task, not whether you’re inherently shy or afraid of the audience’s disapproval. Planning, practice and professional coaching are the tools to make you successful — and success creates confidence!

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Check back soon for more articles on public speaking, communications, speech pathology and executive function.

 

 

Learn To Tell Your Story

Sep 142018
 

  • How important can storytelling be if it’s not taught in school?

In a recent article in The New York Times by Frank Bruni entitled, “How to Get the Most Out of College,” he writes: 

“Every successful pitch for a new policy, new product or new company is essentially a story, with a shape and logic intended to stir its audience. So is every successful job interview. The best moment in a workplace meeting belongs to the colleague who tells the best story… take a course that exposes you to the structure of narrative and the art of persuasion.”

For many years, storytelling was the means of communicating the important events of a group of people and carrying on the traditions of a tribe, sect or culture.  The value of transmitting “oral history” was unquestioned as an essential skill for thousands of years.  With the invention of the printing press and the rise of reading literary, less emphasis has been placed on oral history.

But on a personal level, “telling one’s story” remains as important as “reading, writing and ‘rithmetic.”

  • If story telling is such a valuable skill, why isn’t it taught in school?

The old adage of going to school to learn “reading, writing and ‘rithmetic” has been translated into Common Core requirements during the last decade. While these remain critically important skills for students, the value of verbal expression has been lost in the drive for mandated educational goals and standardized assessment.

In today’s educational environment, teachers can be faulted for not teaching to a state-mandated curriculum that will be measured at various intervals by comprehensive testing. In some areas of the country teacher salaries and retention have become directly linked with testing results.

  • So where is the incentive and the time to implement storytelling skills in the school curriculum?

Few teachers or school districts will defy the current movement for accountability by allocating time for public speaking, learning to express oneself verbally and telling a personal story. Yet, clearly, this is a skill that will shape an individual’s future, as Frank Bruni emphasizes in his insightful article.

If schools cannot be relied on to teach storytelling skills, then it falls to families to foster these skills as much as possible. Find opportunities to share the stories of previous generations, as well as the daily incidents of life in your family.  Encourage everyone, even the youngest child, to share experiences and ideas, and give each person the time and opportunity to be the center of attention by “telling a story.”   

For adults who need to hone their storytelling skills, seek out opportunities to relate stories to friends and colleagues.  If you feel uncomfortable with this prospect, work with a professional who can help you shape a personal narrative and develop your speaking skills.   Being able to represent yourself may be the key to achieving your personal goals — as well as modeling those skills for your children.

Practice your skills by telling stories and equip your children for success by finding ways to help them become storytellers.

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Check back soon for more articles on public speaking, writing, speech-language pathology and executive function skills.

 

 

 

 

 

Interview on WABC, Eyewitness News, Channel 7, NY, 6/7/2018, 4:20 PM

Jun 062018
 

See my television interview tomorrow, June 7, 2018 at 4:20 PM with Sandy Kenyon, entertainment reporter, on Eyewitness News, WABC, Channel 7 in New York, where I discuss the nature of stuttering and how dramatics has helped famous actors deal with their stuttering.

 

Be Happier and Healthier By Telling Stories Throughout Your Life

May 212018
 

After childhood, what value lies in storytelling?

As adults, the willingness and ability to talk about one’s observations and experiences not only provides a way of keeping verbal skills sharp, but perhaps as importantly, becomes of means of emotional health.

As we grown older, many people hide their feelings and experiences out of embarrassment or concern about boring others.  The example of the person who “tells the same stories over and over again” inhibits many people from telling stories about themselves.  For those people, discussing current affairs or business interests becomes the pivot for conversation.  But they deprive themselves of the opportunity of expressing their own feelings and ideas — and important outlet for personal expression.

In some families, traditions exist that everyone, children and adults, tell a story at the dinner table or family gatherings.  Many skilled writers credit their success to the expectation that each person tell a story to the family at night.  Within families, the opportunity to tell one’s story can be a first step toward building self confidence and learning to bond with others. 

As we become older, we often relate to others by the stories we tell — if we use the opportunity — and solidify our connections to other people.  

As people age, the wisdom and experience they relate to their children, grandchildren, and those around them often comes through stories.  Personal history doesn’t have to be recorded formally in writing: we all have the opportunity to tell our stories and enrich the lives of others, as well as ourselves.

Tell a story and give yourself, and others, the joy that comes from using the unique talent we have as humans: connecting through ideas and words.

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Check back soon for more articles on communication, writing, cognitive function and speech pathology.

 

 

 

How To Be an Outstanding Business Communicator

Apr 022018
 

Whether speaking or writing the following key points apply for effective business communications:

  • Tailor your message to your audience

If you’re trying to create a dialogue with another individual, consider the interests of the person you’re interacting with: are they receptive to what you have to say?  Do you need to capture their interest?  What expectations will they bring to your message?

  • Be clear and direct in your language

Choose your words carefully to carry your message.  Consider the different ways some words can be misunderstood: semantics matter!  If you mean to convey a humorous tone, make that clear by the words you use.  Avoid sarcasm which can easily be misunderstood and taken negatively.

  • Avoid slang

 Unless you intend to use a “breezy” tone,  utilize standard English words that will not be misunderstood, especially if you are conveying serious information.  In casual conversation slang expressions may be more appropriate, but generally not in business communication.

  • Use the technical vocabulary of your field

 If you want to be perceived as knowledgeable in a particular area, learn the terms specific to the field and use them appropriately in your message.  Avoid generic terms if you can use more specific vocabulary.

  • Avoid flowery, verbose language

Your audience will appreciate language that gets to the point and doesn’t waste time. Remove ambiguity that can occur with extra words or sentences that are vague or repetitive.

  • Always be socially appropriate

 Be gracious in your communications.  Thank people for their time and attention and make it sound like you mean it by choosing socially appropriate language.  Try to personalize your communication by avoiding overused (throwaway) phrases.

  • In face to face speech, match body language with your words

As specific as you may be with your words, be sure you “look” like what you are saying by showing appropriate affect in your facial expression, gestures and posture.  Body language conveys meaning all by itself and can enhance “what” you say.  “How” you say it counts as well! 

Polished language in business communication creates successful interactions — the key to success!

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